Love Vs Fear
by DreamingEO
Summary: Brian is the only man I have loved in a long time. He means the world to me and it took me fourteen years to figure that out. I'm pregnant with his child and the only thing I have ever wanted is to have a family. Garcia isn't about to take that away from me now.
1. Chapter 1

**Things to know: This is a year after the season 14 premiere.**

_ "Please don't do this. Please. I'll do anything you want. Just... please." _

_ "You take another step and your precious Cassidy gets it!" The tall man had his arms wrapped tightly around Cassidy's neck and he was choking him. He let out gagged breaths as he tried to fight back and break loose but nothing was working._

_ "Let him go," Olivia said tightening her grip on the gun, "This is between me and you."_

_ "Liv," Cassidy managed to say, "I love you.."_

_ Olivia squeezed her eyes shut to try and force the blurred vision to go away. "Just let him go."_

_ "I can't do that."_

**Two Months Earlier**

"Hey Rollins."

"Good morning."

Olivia strolled into the office wearing a smile on her face and Rollins immediately knew something was up. Usually on Monday mornings she was grouchy because she didn't want to come back to work after a good weekend spent with Brian Cassidy.

"How was your weekend?"

Olivia looked up from her paperwork and smiled, "It was great. Brian proposed!"

"What? Liv, that's great!" Rollins was truly happy for her. She had spent the past year listening to Olivia talk about how much she loved Brian and how happy she was and how she finally wanted to settle down. She saw the way her face lit up every time Brian's name was mentioned.

Olivia nodded, "I didn't plan on telling anyone just yet but, I guess I got excited."

Rollins laughed, "You deserve to be excited."  
Olivia had her coffee mug in her hand as she sat down at her desk and cleared the stack of paper on top of it away. She didn't feel like doing her paperwork so early in the morning. She would do it later. The warmth from the cup was seeping through to her hand so she took a small sip and sat it down in the corner of the desk, out of the way of the computer.

"Benson," Cragen called from the doorway of his office, "Can you come here for a second?"

Olivia wondered what Captain Cragen could possibly want to talk to her about. She got up and headed over to his office.

"Yes, Captain?"

"I heard that you and Cassidy are tying the knot."

"Word travels fast." Olivia let out a small laugh but then realized it must be serious because Cragen's lips were still in a straight line.

"If anyone finds out you guys are married then they are going to do everything they can to break you up. Suspects are going to use your marriage against you."

Olivia sighed, "So partner us with other people."

"I can't," Cragen said matter-of-factly, "Amaro is moving to D.C to be with his wife and daughter. He got a job there working security at the White House."

"So partner me with Rollins," Olivia shrugged. Ever since the whole ordeal with Carissa and Delia, Benson and Amaro's relationship had been a little rocky. They did their best to work with each other but, the trust they once had was never the same.

It was Cragen's turn to sigh now. He didn't want to have to do this to Olivia but, he had no choice. He cared about her home life, not just her work life. "I can't do that either."

"Why not?" She was starting to worry. If she couldn't be partnered with anyone else besides Cassidy, then they had a problem. She knew how her marriage could be used against her and she knew that marriage records were public material.

"IAB says that the squad works best when we have assigned partners. They don't like the change up that we have been doing. Fin and Rollins have been partnered together and that leaves you and Cassidy."

"Why can't you just switch them?" She was getting agitated now. Her and Fin had worked together before and they had done just fine. Her and Rollins had worked together before too and they were just as good.

"Rollins and Cassidy don't work well together."

"So put me with Rollins!"

"Olivia," Cragen said keeping his tone down, "You know I can't do that."

It was true. She did know that because men were still seen as higher power than women, that you couldn't have two female detectives out on the field. It was considered dangerous and blah blah blah. She had heard it a thousand times and each time she got more pissed off about it.

"We can try it as it is now," Cragen said folding his hands on top of his desk, "If anyone threatens you and Cassidy, you tell me."

"Then what?"

"You know what."

Olivia turned her head to the side because she couldn't bare to look at Cragen any longer. She was pissed about the partner situation because getting married was suppose to be the best time of your life. Not the worst.

"What was that all about?" Amanda asked when she saw Olivia come back out of the office.

Olivia sighed and ran her hand through her hair, "The partnering situation."

Amanda just nodded, "Sorry."

"Cassidy and I will be fine. I hear people are calling us 'Bensidy' now."

"Bensidy?" Amanda asked with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk on her face, "I came up with that."

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but before she could Brian himself came walking in with his tough guy cop walk. He had a small white bag in his hand and a rose in the other.

"Stopped by the store," he said walking over to Olivia's desk and turning to her, "Got you a little something."

Olivia's face lit up and she forgot all about her mood. "Thank you," she said, "This is wonderful."

"Like I've said before, I'm not a romantic."

Olivia just shrugged his comment off and went to place the rose into her white coffee mug that held her pens and pencils. It wasn't a real rose, just one of those cheapy ones you can practically get at any store for a dollar. She didn't mind though, if he had bought her real ones they would have died off from her lack of watering them. Olivia also didn't care that Brian wasn't a romanticist. She didn't consider herself one either. Sure she liked some things be romantic but, not all the time. It just wasn't who she was.

It was hitting lunch time now and Olivia couldn't help but notice that Brian seemed a little out of it. Usually he was competing with Fin to see who was more hip. Today he had remained seemingly quiet. He hadn't had much input on the cases they were discussing and he hadn't even responded when Olivia kissed him on the cheek.

It was just the two of them alone outside on the stoop now and Olivia couldn't take it any longer. She needed to know. "What's bothering you?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I'm fine."

"You're lying," Olivia said, "You've been distant all day. What's going on?"

Brian sighed and brought his head up so he was looking Olivia in the eyes, "Something came up."

"Something like what?"

"My mother," he answered, "She's sick."

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know," he said sadly, "I got an e-mail from her earlier today. She just said that she was sick and that she had lost my number so she had to send an e-mail."

"No offense but, your mother doesn't even know how to use e-mail." Olivia was trying to lighten the mood but bu the look on Brian's face said she had failed.

"I have to go to Seattle to be with her," he said turning away from her, "Tomorrow."

Olivia sighed. Now she understood why he had been so out of it all day. They had planned that their wedding would be small with only people that were close to them invited. They also planned to get married in exactly three weeks. If his mother was still stick then, they would have to postpone. "Tomorrow..."

"Yeah," he said, "I don't know how long I'll be gone."

Olivia nodded. Tears slightly brimming in her eyes. She didn't want Brian to leave. She liked going home from work and him being there to cuddle with her. She felt safe. She knew she was being selfish which is why she would never have told him how she really felt.

"I guess we better get you packing then."

"You know I wouldn't go if I didn't have to..."

"I know," she smiled sadly, "It's okay. Your mom needs you. I understand."

"That's besides the point," he said, "I know you don't like being home alone."  
"I've been alone most of my life," Olivia softly laughed, "I'll be fine."

Brian sighed and turned to look at her yet again. He reached over and pulled her hand out from her lap and entangled it in his. She rested her head against his shoulder and they just sat there enjoying each other's presence.

"I hate to ruin the moment," Amanda said stepping onto the first step, "We just got a case."


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia sighed as she followed Brian into her apartment and plopped down on the couch next to him. His plane was taking off early in the morning and she wasn't ready to watch him go. She felt silly about it. Silly that she cared so much. She knew he was coming back but, maybe that was just how her mind worked.

"What are you thinking about?" Brian asked turning his attention toward her.

"You," she smiled, "I'm going to miss waking up to you in the mornings."

"You can always call me," he said, "Right when you wake up."

"You can count on that," she said pulling her feet up onto the couch, "You know, fourteen years ago I never would have thought you would be the guy I'd end up with." She rested her head on his lap and he began rubbing his fingers through her recently cut hair. It was a little passed her shoulders now and Brian loved it that way.

"Why's that? Was I not good lookin' enough?"

"You were," she said casually, "I just didn't see you as my type I guess."

"You had a type?"

She shrugged and closed her eyes. She had worked on a hard case today and she was exhausted. She was trying to stay awake so she could help Brian pack but every time he ran his hands through her hair she would fall a little more to sleep. After a while of silence Brian looked down at her and saw that she was already passed out. He smiled to himself and realized how much his life had turned around in just a year. He used to be out late every night with strippers and people who were up to know good. He was breaking the law even if he was trying to fix it. He didn't have anyone who he called family near by. When the whole Delia ordeal got brought up and he saw Olivia again for the first time, he literally felt his heart stop. The way she walked into the room and said his name. "_Cassidy, you ass! You punched my partner_?!" He remembered the day well.

Careful not to wake her up, he moved a little bit at a time until he was off the couch and Olivia's head was resting on one of the couch pillows. He loved how she slept with her mouth slightly open. It made him laugh silently.

Brian didn't know how long he would be away or how long it would take for his mother to get better, if she even got better. He didn't even know what was going on. He threw a bunch of his clothes into a large black suitcase along with toiletries and a belt. He made sure to grab his toothbrush and a hairbrush. He stuffed as many things as he could into the suitcase and then zipped it up so it was all ready to go. He took a seat on the bed next to the suitcase and the picture that was in a silver frame on the nightstand caught his eye. It was a picture of him and Olivia holding hands from behind. Munch had snapped it one day and showed it to them when nobody was around. That was the picture that made them go public with their relationship. Everyone at the precinct was happy for them of course; except Amaro. Amaro and Cassidy never really hit it off.

Brian picked up the picture and took it out of the frame and stuffed it into the top zipper of his suitcase. He wanted to bring it along so he could look at Olivia everyday.

"What are you doing?"

He turned around to see Olivia leaning against the door frame, "I thought you were asleep."

"I was," she said, "You should have woken me up. I would have helped you pack."

"You were tired. I wanted to let you rest."

"It's three thirty," she sighed walking over to the bed and sitting down next to him, "We should get going."

"You sure you're going to be alright for a few days?"

"Yes," Olivia said rolling her eyes, "I'm a big girl."

"Right," Brian smiled, "Right."

"Just don't expect a big run up and hug type of thing when I pick you up from the airport," she said playfully punching him in the shoulder, "I don' do that."

"No worries," he laughed, "I don't do that either."

It had been an hour since Brian had called from his mother's house and told Olivia that he had made it safely. He filled her in on how his flight went and how he spent the whole ride sitting next to an old man who had a snoring problem. Olivia couldn't help but laugh. She figured it was payback for all the times his snoring kept her awake at night.

_It was the first night he was staying at her place and they had had a very interesting day at work. Most of their day was spent chasing perps and they were both extremely exhausted. Brian fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows and Olivia was lying there trying not to let the case get to her. She had finally forced the pictures out of her head and was almost asleep when Brian started snoring. She opened her eyes and shot him an evil glare. She wasn't used to sharing her bed and she definitely wasn't used to hearing snoring._

_ "Brian," she whispered, "Brian shut the hell up!"_

_ Of course Brian was in a dead sleep. _

_ "Brian," she said again, louder this time. "If you don't stop snoring I'm going to punch you."_

_ Brian didn't stop even after being threatened and Olivia couldn't take it so she got up and slept on the couch. When Brian woke up and saw her there he laughed. "My snoring?"_

_ "You knew you did that and you didn't think to inform me? You sound like a damn chainsaw!"_

_ "I'm sorry," Brain said in the least serious voice, "I can't help it."_

_ Olivia pulled the pillow out from under her head and threw it at him, "You should be!_"

"Well, I'll let you get back to work," Brian said through the phone, "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, "Bye."

"Was that Cassidy?" Rollins, who was sitting across from Olivia at her desk asked.

"Yeah," she answered, "His flight just landed."

"Benson! My office, now!"

Olivia turned around to see Captain Cragen standing in the door way of his office with an angry look on his face. She hadn't even been in the building more than an hour and she certainly hadn't done anything wrong.

"Yes, Captain?"

"I thought I made myself clear the other day," he began yelling, "What part of our conversation didn't you understand?"

Olivia had no clue what was going on and she didn't appreciate Cragen yelling at her about something she had no part of. "Captain, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I told you if anyone threatened you to let me know asap. When were you planning on telling me?"

Olivia shook her head and squinted her eyes like she always did when she was confused, "I haven't been threatened. Cap'n, honestly, I have no idea what you are talking about."

Cragen sighed and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, "There was a letter on your desk this morning," he began saying. His tone had calmed down know as he realized Olivia really didn't know anything about the situation. "It was addressed to Detective Olivia Benson and Captain Donald Cragen. I thought you had already read it so I picked it up." He picked the piece of folded notebook paper up from off his desk and handed it to Olivia. "Just read it."

She accepted the paper from him and began reading it out loud. "Everybody has secrets. Everybody has something they don't want to get found out. You didn't used to have secrets. Everybody knew everything about you. I advise you to watch your back Benson. The consequences could be dangerous."

"Any idea?"

Olivia shook her head, "I don't understand. I haven't even worked a case in the past month where somebody would have a grudge or anything like that."

Cragen took the letter back and placed it back inside the envelope it came in, "I don't know but, I don't like it."

"Well neither do I," she said, "But this doesn't even have anything to do with Brian and I."

"You don't know that," Cragen said, "Don't you think the secrets part has to do with him?"

"No," she answered honestly, "I don't. Even if it did, Brian is all the way in Washington. This is just some stupid letter someone sent to scare us."

Cragen knew that Olivia was probably right. It wasn't the first time they had received threatening letters and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. "Just be careful."

"I will," she said turning to the door, "I'm always careful."


	3. Chapter 3

This was the first time in a long while that Olivia had gone home to an empty apartment. There wasn't anybody to rub her shoulders and tell her that everything would be okay. There wasn't anybody to cuddle up in bed with and there wasn't anybody to kiss before falling asleep. Olivia sighed and looked at the house that was a mess. She decided that she should clean up a little bit before going to bed. She cleaned all the dishes off the counter tops in the kitchen and put them in their places. Then she straightened up the pillows on the couch and folded the blanket.

Her cell phone started ringing and she rushed to the kitchen table to pick it up, knowing it was Brian.

"Hey," she answered casually.

"Hey, how was work?"

"Work was work," she sighed, "How's your mom doing?"

"Not too good," he answered, "She's losing her memory."

"I'm sorry," Olivia said.

"I miss you."

Olivia smiled, "I miss you too. It was too quiet coming home tonight."

Brian laughed, "I wish I was with you right now."

"You will be soon," she said, "Right now your mother needs you more than I do."

"Yeah," he said, "I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she said, "I love you."

"I love you too Liv. If you need anything call me," he said.

"Okay." She smiled, she loved how concerned Brian always was over her. She liked the feeling of having somebody else to care about her. It brought a new meaning to her life.

She hung up the phone and got back to the quietness of her apartment. She didn't miss living alone at all. She walked into her bedroom going to change into her sleep clothes when something caught her eye. When she left for work this morning she was sure all of her dresser drawers were closed and her bed was made. She walked slowly toward her bed looking at the ruffled covers and pillows that were out of place.

"Maybe I just forgot to make it this morning," she thought to herself.

She didn't think anything else of it and continued changing her clothes and proceeding to bed.

"I didn't picture you the type of man who would lie to his fiance like that," the man said in a husky voice.

Brian shot him a glare and rolled his eyes, "I don't want her worrying."

The man chuckled as an evil smiled crept across his face, "She'll do that all on her own."

Brain grew angry as the man talked about Olivia. It was bad enough he was stuck in this situation and he didn't want Olivia worrying about him. They weren't hurting him and he was sure they were going to let him go.

"What did you do to her?"

"Nothing," the man answered honestly, "Yet..."

Brian began fighting against the rope that binned him to the chair. "You lay a hand on her and I swear I will kill you!"

It wasn't the first time Olivia had woken up in the middle night feeling slightly scared. Some nights she had nightmares and sometimes she just couldn't get her mind to rest long enough for her to attempt sleep. She looked over at the clock and the bright red neon letters read 3:27. She sighed to herself and rolled the other way so she was facing the empty spot that Brian usually filled. She was having a tough time going back to sleep without him there. She reached her hand over the spot and ran it over the space a few times just to try and fill the void of him being gone. Suddenly she felt a little funny. She wasn't sure if she was nauseas or if it was something else. She turned over again so she was facing the wall and tried to get comfortable. She turned to look at the clock again and this time the numbers read 4:04. She figured she might as well get out of bed and get ready for work. Maybe she would have time to eat a decent breakfast before being rushed out the door.

She walked into the kitchen just like she did every morning and turned the coffee pot on so it would start warming up. She was still wearing her pajamas when she walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Suddenly she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. She had a gut instinct that told her today was going to be a long day. She wasn't sure what it was, maybe it was because Brian was a thousand miles away or maybe it was just because she didn't get much sleep and her body was tired. She walked back into her bedroom to grab her cell phone to see if Brian was still awake. She knew there was a three hour time difference but maybe he was having a rough night like she was.

The phone rang once, then twice, then three times and finally there was an answer.

"Hey," Brian said, "What are you doing up? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said, "I just missed you. I didn't sleep well last night."

"Look, Liv, I hate to rush you off but, I have to go."

Olivia was upset, she had just wanted to talk to him for a few minutes before her day was started and he was already rushing her off. He hadn't even said he missed her too. "Uh, okay… is everything all right?"

"I love you, Liv," he said, "You are the best Benson out there."

Then the line went dead.

Olivia listened to the dial tone that was sounding in her ear as she stood there completely oblivious to what just happened. She didn't know why Brian was acting so weird or why he called her Benson. He never called her Benson. He said the name Olivia was too pretty and that Benson was for work only. Suddenly the feeling in her stomach intensified and she rushed to the bathroom just in time.

"You look contagious," Munch said right when Olivia walked into the squad room.

She gave him a look that let him know she wasn't in the mood, "Is Cragen here?"

"In there," Munch answered pointing to the Captain's office, "Everything okay?"

"I'm not sure," she said sadly.

She was in such a hurry to get out of the door and to the precinct to talk to Cragen that she forgot her freshly poured cup of steaming coffee on the counter right in front of the microwave. She would pay for it later and she refused to drink anything Munch made.

"Captain," she said stepping in and closing the door behind her, "We need to talk."

"What's up?" he asked casually.

Olivia paced back and forth and used her hands to gesture as she spoke, "I think Brian's in trouble. I- he… I called him this morning and he was acting funny. He said he had to go and we had just got on the phone. Then he called me Benson. He said I was the best Benson out there. He only calls me Benson at work."

"Calm down," Cragen said seeing that she was distressed, "That doesn't seem like a reason to worry. Maybe he had to take care of his mom."

Olivia shook her head no, "I really think we should look into this. What if this has something to do with that letter?" she rambled, "Remember, everybody has secrets?"

Cragen nodded and thought back to the letter. He knew that letter was no good. As soon as he read it he had that gut feeling.

"Try calling him back," Cragen said, "Let's get as much out of him as we can."

Olivia reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, dialing his familiar number. She waited and waited as they sound kept ringing in her ears. "Nothing," she said after it went to voice mail.

Cragen took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Maybe he's sleeping, Liv. There is a bit of a time difference."

"I know," Olivia said rubbing her temple, "I just... I don't know. This has me all flustered."

"I bet," Cragen said, "It isn't all roses when you're married."

"What if he's in trouble?" Olivia asked with a worried look on her face.

"Then we will do whatever we can," Cragen answered, "That's all we can do but, Liv, I don't think he's in trouble. If he hasn't called you by tomorrow we will look more into it, okay? Stop worrying."

"I can't," she whispered stopping her pacing in front of his desk, "I can't stop worrying. Everyday I think he's just going to walk away and never look back. Like he's just going to pretend nothing ever happened between us." Her eyes were glossy now as she looked at her Captain, "Everybody always leaves..."

"This isn't the same," Cragen reminded her, "Brian loves you."

Olivia gave a slight nod of her head, hoping Cragen's words were true.


	4. Chapter 4

"Brian, please pick up," Olivia sighed. She waited until the phone went to voice mail before she threw the phone hard against the wall causing it to fall to the floor. She sighed as she sat down on her bed and buried her face in her hands. She had a terrible day at work and all she wanted was Brian. She just wanted to hear his voice and know that he was okay. She began crying and she couldn't control the tears. She didn't know when she came so dependent on Brian. After a few moments to herself she got up and grabbed her phone from where it fell on the floor and dialed Cragen's number.

"He hasn't answered," she sniffed into the phone.

"I'm going to come over," Cragen said, "We'll talk about it when I get there. Just take a few minutes, okay?"

"Yeah," she said quietly, "See you when you get here."  
She paced around the living room, waiting for Cragen to arrive. She hoped that Brian was just busy taking care of his mother and hadn't had time to answer the phone. It was better than thinking about the alternative. She was worrying herself sick about him. Suddenly there was a knock on her door and her thoughts had been interrupted. She made her way to the door where she opened it up, not even stopping to look through the peep hole. She knew it was going to be Cragen.

"You alright?" he walked in and made his self comfortable on the couch. It wasn't the first time he had visited Olivia's apartment.

She shook her head, "He should be answering," she said sadly, "I just… that letter has me paranoid."

"I can tell," Cragen said trying to lighten up the mood.

"I can't lose him," she said in a voice just above a whisper, "He's all I have. Everything that I've wanted."

"I know," Cragen said, "Which is why I called one of my buddies up in Seattle and briefed them on the case. I gave them the address of Brian's mom and they are going to go by and check it out. They should be calling back anytime."

"What if he finds something bad? What if Brian's dead?! I can't- Cap'n, I can't handle that. We're getting married." She paced around the living room frantically as she waited for Cragen's cell phone to ring.

"It's him," Cragen said looking down at his caller I.D. "Cragen... Uh huh... Yeah... Are you sure...? Yeah... Thank you. Bye."

"And?"

Cragen took in a deep breath before looking up at Olivia. He didn't want to give her the news. "Liv, Brian's mother was in a terrible accident."

"Oh no," Olivia gasped.

"She was unable to be identified at the time..."

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked with her eyes growing wide.

"She died two years ago. We were able to compare her DNA to Brian's..."

Olivia was at a loss for words. She felt the bile rise in her throat and she fought to keep it down, "Where's Brian?"

Cragen shrugged, "We aren't sure. We know he got on a plane to Seattle but after that... we don't know."

"He's in trouble," Olivia said with tears brimming her eyes, "I know he his. We have to go there! We have to find him!"

"Liv, just wait a minute! The police in Seattle can handle it. They are specialized in missing persons and they know that Brian is a cop. He's top priority right now."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. She couldn't believe that Cragen of all people was telling her to let this go. Of course she wasn't going to do that. Every fiber in her was telling her to go to Seattle and find her fiance. She took a deep breath and couldn't believe what she was about to do. "I need to be alone," she said quietly, "Can you please leave?"

Cragen sported a shocked look on his face, "If you need anything..."

"I'll call," she sad sadly showing him to the door.

When Cragen left Olivia rushed off to her bedroom and grabbed a suitcase from under her bed. She threw it onto the bed and unzipped it quickly throwing all sorts of things into it. She packed a couple clothes and toiletries but she also packed things she might need to help her find Brian. When she was finished she grabbed the picture of her and Brian and shoved it into her jeans pocket. She grabbed her keys off the kitchen table and headed out the door. She only had one destination in mind and she was determined to get there; tonight.

The airport wasn't as crowded as it usually was and that made her feel a little less stressed. She bought a ticket to Seattle and boarded the plane quickly hoping that before long she would be in Seattle and she could get some information on the whereabouts of Brian.

"Please fasten your seat belts," the captain of the plane announced over the intercom system.

Olivia did just that and then rested her head against the window of the plane. Her stomach had been in knots all night and the plane wasn't helping. She was tired and worried but one thing was keeping her from going insane. One conversation that kept playing through her head.

_"It's not the end," Brian said as the credits slowly flowed up the screen, "It's a new beginning. Just because the movie ended doesn't meant he people didn't go on to live their life. I like to think of movies like that. Does that make me in touch with my feminine side?"_

_ Olivia couldn't help but laugh, "Well," she began, "I don't think of movies like that so, does that make me a man?"_

_ "No," he said smiling, "But it gives you a better outlook on life."_

_ "I don't really believe in happy endings," she sighed, "I haven't ever seen one."_

_ Brian looked at her, really looked at her, and in her eyes he could see that she had a troubled past. He knew a little about her mom, but not enough. He didn't want to ask though. When she wanted to tell him she would. "We could have a happy ending."_

_ This caught her off guard and she gave him a look like a deer caught in headlights. "I don't believe in them."_

_ "So you don't believe that you and I can make it happily to the end? I do. I believe that together we could. Both of us are pretty badass. We could take down anything that got in our way."_

_ Olivia laughed again and scooted over so there was no space left between the two of them. "You're right," she whispered in his ear. Then she moved onto his lap and leaned in closer so their foreheads were resting against the others. "I love you."_

_ "I love you too. Don't ever forget that."_

**More reviews the sooner you get an update! :) Come on, you know you ship Bensidy.**


	5. Chapter 5

Once the plane had landed in Seattle, Olivia went straight to a hotel where she was lucky there were rooms available. She changed quickly into some new clothes and grabbed the things she would to get information around the town. She clipped her badge to her belt and buttoned her coat up. She grabbed an umbrella, hating that Seattle always rained.

She stepped out of the hotel, wondering where she was going to go. She didn't know any places here or have any idea where Brian would be. To make matters worse, she was feeling nauseous again. She took a deep breath and let it out slow, trying to rid the urge to vomit. She took her cell phone out of her pocket and looked up where the last address of Brian's mother was. That would be her first stop.

When she arrived in front of the small white house, she gently smiled. It was a beautiful house with a white picket fence and a small rose garden in front. The roses looked a bit wilted, but otherwise they were still blooming. She pushed the gate open and slowly walked to the door, looking for any signs of Brian. The house seemed to be vacated but, Olivia knocked on the door anyway. When she didn't get an answer, she busted it down, drawing her gun and walking further inside.

"Don't make a sound," the man said pointing the gun to Brian's head, "If you do I'll shoot you and then I'll shoot her."

Olivia was making her way through the living room when she spotted an open photo album on the floor. She bent down to pick it up and she slowly flipped through the pages. She smiled when she saw pictures of Brian as a child. There was one where he was naked and standing in the bathtub with his hair full of soap. She took it out and stuffed it into her pocket. "Bry..." she sighed, "Where are you?" She closed the album and sat it on top of the table in the dining room. The house looked like it hadn't been touched after Mary died. Everything was still there, untouched. It was all just a little dusty. Correction; a lot dusty. She was about to make her way down the stairs to the basement when her stomach flip flopped and instead she rushed to find a bathroom and heaved in the toilet. "Ugh," she groaned, "Nothing like having the stomach flu." When she finished she cleaned herself up and forgot about checking the basement. She made sure she fixed the bolts on the door and closed it behind her on her way out.

Olivia went back to the hotel, still not feeling very well. She figured now was a good time to call Cragen and let him know where she was. Maybe he would give her the name of the cop who was suppose to be working Brian's case and Olivia could help. She just hoped Cragen wouldn't be too mad at her for disobeying his orders.

"Olivia?!"  
"Hey," Olivia said feeling guilty.

"Where are you? I've been trying to get a hold of you!"

She sighed, "I'm in Seattle," she mumbled.

"What? Liv! You could be in danger! You have to come back home."

"I can't leave without him," she said sincerely, "I love him and I won't lose him."

She heard Cragen sigh on the other end and she knew he was contemplating on giving her information. "What is it?" she asked knowing that he was keeping something.

"Josh, the guy who works for missing persons, said that Mary's death was ruled accidental but, he just finished reading the autopsy reports and the files on the case..."

"And?"

"He doesn't agree with the ruling."

"He thinks Mary was killed?"

"According to the documents, a drunk driver swerved out of his lane and rammed into Mary's car. Both cars caught on fire and neither of them made it."

"That sounds accidental to me."

"Except," Cragen added, "The guy who ran into Mary was a man by the name of Marcus Weiss. He was known to work for a man by the name of Tyler Garcia. Garcia is head of a major drug cartel in Seattle."

Olivia sighed and plopped down on the hotel bed, taking in all of the information. "Why would a drug cartel want to kill Mary? She was a 70-year-old woman! I highly doubt she was on any drugs."

"I don't know," Cragen said, "That's all I have. Josh said he's willing to work with you on the case but, Liv, you can't go around beating people up and putting yourself in danger. Follow Josh's leads. He knows more about these people than you do."

"Okay," Olivia said nodding, "What's his number?"

Cragen read Olivia the number and she scribbled it down on a piece of paper.

"Wait!" she said before Cragen hung up the phone, "I thought I had the stomach flu..."

Cragen, not understanding where Olivia was going, asked, " And?"

She sighed, "I realized that I missed my period this month... I think I'm pregnant."

"Liv..."

"I don't know how it happened," Olivia said with tears pulling in her eyes.

"It's okay," Cragen said in a gentle voice, "Don't get upset. This is great news."

"What if Brian doesn't want kids?" Olivia asked, "We haven't even talked about it... I'm in my forties..."

"Liv," Cragen said with his heart breaking, "You've always wanted a child. Now you have the chance. Brian loves you, Olivia. He will love to have a kid with you."

Olivia nodded and wiped her tears away. "I have to find him," she whispered, "I have to."

"I understand. We will do everything we can here and Josh is a great cop. He's on top of things, Liv. You just be safe, okay? We'll keep in touch."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

Olivia hung up the phone and tossed it to the floor. She just wanted Brian by her side. She needed him. She wished he was there right now so he would wrap her in his arms and kiss her and whisper in her ear that everything was going to be okay.


	6. Chapter 6

After Olivia had gotten off the phone with Cragen she called the number he had given her and talked to Josh about possible leads. So far, they didn't have any. He told Olivia that as soon as he did he would contact her and that in the mean time she should get rest. Cragen had informed him of the possible pregnancy and Olivia hadn't been too happy about it. Then she realized he was only looking out for her best interests. She had went to bed not long after her conversations and had been sleeping soundly since. Until now...

"Ugh," she groaned as she keeled over the toilet and emptied everything from her stomach. "Morning sickness is a bitch." When she was finished she grabbed a complimentary cloth from one of the bathroom drawer and ran it under the cool water and then wiping her face with it. Having morning sickness only made her miss Brian more. She longed for him to be next to her rubbing her back and telling her that it was all going to be okay. She figured she must be losing her mind because he had only been missing for three days. She never needed a man in her life before so she didn't know why she needed one now. Except Brian was different from all the others. She loved Brian in a different way than she had loved anyone. It just seemed... right.

She sighed to herself and managed to control her stomach long enough to get dressed and wait for a phone call from Josh. She knew that he promised he would call her with any leads they found but, she didn't want to wait. She had more information than what she came to Seattle with so she figured she would start checking things out. She grabbed a pad of pen and paper and wrote down everything she was told. Then she called Fin and asked him for a big favor.

"Anything," he said, "Whatcha need?"

"I need you to run the name Tyler Garcia. I need to know every charge he's had against him."

Olivia heard Fin typing through the phone and after several seconds he replied. "Tyler Garcia. He's been convicted of fraud and petty theft but, that's it. Does this have to do with Brian?"

"I don't know," Olivia sighed and sat the pen she had in her hand down. "I don't really know anything... All I know is his mother was killed and he's here somewhere. I have to find him, Fin. I have to."

"Okay," Fin said for lack of something better, "There is something. It says here that Tyler Garcia is wanted for being a head of huge drug ring in Seattle. He sends people across the Canadian border and has them smuggle drugs back into the U.S."

"I just don't understand why would he want to kill with Brian's mother. Maybe try running her name through the system?"

More typing on the line. "Mary Cassidy. Liv... it says here that Mary was in jail for several years for killing her husband in the 70's. She released on her own recognizance."

Olivia sighed and felt the tears begin to prick in her eyes, "Yeah," she said in a voice barely audible, "Brian... had a rough time then..."  
"Maybe she came across paths with someone Garcia knew in prison," Fin suggested, "They tried to get her to hide some stuff but, she wouldn't?"

All of a sudden there was a sharp pain in Olivia's abdomen. She winced in pain and shock, not knowing what was happening.

"Liv?" Fin asked on the line, "Are you okay?"

"I... yeah," she mumbled, "M'okay."

"Are you sure? Cragen told me Liv..."

"It was nothing... it was just..." she cried out again as she felt the pain and then she looked down to see a crimson red seeping through her blue jeans. "Oh God," she cried, "I'm bleeding."

"Olivia! Get to a hospital, okay? I'm coming to Seattle right now!"

Olivia hung up the phone and wiped the tears from her eyes. This could not be happening. She was scared and worried. She wanted this baby more than anything and if something bad was going to happen to it... she wouldn't handle it. Especially without Brian. She dialed 911 and told them what was going on and they said to her that they were on their way. She lay in the bed as she cried and waited for the ambulance to arrive. The only thoughts running through her head were Brian and how he might never have the chance to even feel his child... It made her cry more.

"EMT!" a voice called from just outside her hotel door, "We're coming in."

Blood was now everywhere and Olivia's face was red from her tears, "You have to do something," she cried, "Please."

"She's lost a lot of blood," the woman said to the male, "We need to move fast."

Olivia tried to stay coherent and answer questions for the first responders but she couldn't. She felt her eyes rolling and she couldn't concentrate on anything. She became dizzy and disoriented and slowly she slipped out of consciousness.

Olivia awoke sometime later with the feeling of someone holding her hand. She opened her eyes and saw that she was in the hospital. She looked over and saw Cragen holding her hand. "What happened?"

The grim look on Cragen's face caused her to burst into tears. She knew she had lost the baby. She just knew... "Where the hell is Brian?" she cried, "I want Brian."

"We're looking," Cragen said sympathetically, "Fin is in Seattle working with Josh right now. You just worry about yourself right now, okay?"

"I can't believe I lost the baby," she said attempting to wipe her tears.

"Liv," Cragen said not knowing how to word his next sentence. "You lost one baby... It seems that you were pregnant with twins."

Olivia didn't know whether to laugh or keep crying. Twins. She still had a baby safe and growing inside of her. She didn't think celebrating was a good idea since she had just lost one of them... she didn't know what to feel.

"I was so scared," she recalled, "I-"

"It's okay," Cragen said soothingly, "It's okay. We're going to find him."

Olivia sighed and let her body relax against the paper thin hospital pillows. "Tyler Garcia has to have him."

"We're looking for him," Cragen offered.

"What if they kill him?" she asked with her eyes watering again. "I really, really love him, Don. We're getting married," she reached to wipe the tears then she chuckled a little bit, "He always teased that he wouldn't leave me willingly..."

Cragen was going to say something but his phone ringing stopped him. "Cragen."

"Cap," it was Fin, "We have a possible lead as to where Tyler Garcia is. He used to have a storage unit downtown but when the cops found it two years ago he cleared it out. We have reason to believe he went back. Smart move. Cops wouldn't think to check it twice if they knew Garcia had been warned."

"Keep me posted," Cragen said before hanging up and turning back toward Liv, who had a questioning look on her face. "They have a possible lead on the location of Garcia."

"Can you get the doctor for me? I need to get out of here so I can help them. They're crazy if they think I'm not going with them." She threw the hospital blanket off of her and swung her legs over the side of the bed, reaching for her clothes.

"Liv, I'm not so sure that's a good idea. You're with child. I don't want you in any danger."

"This child won't have a father if we don't find him," she said as if Cragen didn't already know that. "I need to go with them. Please."

Cragen knew he was about to make a mistake and reluctantly he said, "Okay." He wished he could go with Olivia and Fin but since two of his detectives weren't working at the precinct he needed to get back to Manhattan and manage those cases. "Keep me updated," he said before leaving the room to grab a nurse for the discharge papers.

**Up next: Do they find Garcia and does he have Brian? Can Olivia handle the stress? **


	7. Chapter 7

"Don't even think about it," Fin ordered Olivia as they approached the storage unit where they hoped to find Tyler Garcia.

"What?" Olivia asked innocently reaching in the back seat for a bullet proof vest.

"You're not going in there with us."

"What? Come on! Cragen let me come. I'll be fine," she insisted.

"No," Fin said stepping out of the vehicle, "Josh and I can handle it."

Olivia let out an angry sigh and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She wasn't too thrilled that she was having to wait in the car but, she had a plan. Once Fin and Josh were in the unit she could use that time to get a good look around. She could ask the manager if he knew anywhere where Garcia might go.

"You're acting like a child," Fin said with a hint of a smile.

Olivia smiled too, "Just go get it over with before I change my mind."

Olivia watched as Fin and Josh drew their guns and carefully made their way to the storage unit with the numbers 382 on the top. She figured she might as well make herself useful so she went to speak with the manager.

"Look, I already told the cops everything I knew," the worker said when Olivia showed him her badge.

Olivia nodded, "I understand... it's just... I'm pregnant and Garcia has my husband. I really need to find him."

The worker looked at her like he was thinking about talking. He looked like he felt sympathetic toward her. "All I know is that we have reason to believe he could be here. I was warned not to open the unit because the police were on their way. If he isn't in there then I am sorry."

Olivia sighed. "Thank you for your time." She turned to leave the small room and saw Fin and Josh heading back toward the car. "No luck?"

Josh shook his head, "The unit was empty."

Olivia's sighed defeated and climbed into the backseat of the car. "What do we do now?"

"I want you to come to the precinct and call Brian," Josh informed her as Fin pulled the car out onto the road. "He's been answering your calls, correct?"

"Yeah," Olivia said, "But he doesn't say much and he doesn't ever stay on the line that long."

"We can try to get a trace on the line," Josh said, "Maybe we can get a little information out of him."

The three detectives headed to the precinct in downtown Seattle and gathered in a quiet room toward the back of the building where there was a phone system set up. Olivia dialed Brian's number with trembling fingers, hoping for an answer. The line rang once, twice, three times before someone finally picked up.

"Hello?"

The voice wasn't Brian's. Olivia looked to Fin in terror. "Is Brian there?" she asked, sounding casual, not wanting to give anything away.

"Sorry, he's a little... tied up."

"Could you have him call me?" Olivia asked playing dumb.

"Sure," the voice said and the next thing Olivia knew the line went dead. She quickly turned to Josh, hoping for a thumbs up. He shook his head.

She sighed and leaned her elbows on the table, resting her head in her hands. Fin walked closer to her and rubbed her back soothingly. "We'll find him, Liv. Someway."

"This would be my life," she whispered.

"Come on," Fin said helping Olivia up, "I'll take you back to the hotel and we can order some lunch. I'm sure Josh will keep looking for him."

"You have my word," Josh said.

Olivia agreed so Fin drove Olivia to her hotel and they stayed in her room waiting for a pizza to be delivered. Olivia wasn't up for talking and all she could think about was the man on the phone. He had said that Brian was a little tied up and she couldn't get that out of her head. All she could think about was never seeing him again.

Fin noticed that Olivia had tears in her eyes yet again and he just didn't know what to do. "Liv," he said quietly, sitting down on the bed next to her. "I'm sorry... I won't stop until I find him, okay? I can't imagine how hard this is for you."

The first tear slowly fell down her cheek. "I had a bad feeling about this as soon as he told me he had to leave for awhile," she sobbed, "I never should have let him go alone."

"This isn't your fault," Fin assured her. His heart was definitely breaking for his friend.

"I know that," she whispered, "But... I just... I need him," she admitted, "I need him."

Fin just looked at her and how she was crying openly in front of him, admitting that she needed Brian. In that moment he realized that Olivia Benson had changed. She had found someone that loved her for who she was and that she loved him too. "I'm going to call Josh and see if he has gotten anything, okay? Why don't you rest until the pizza gets here. You look exhausted."

Olivia nodded and climbed under the covers of the queen size hotel bed. She let her head rest against the soft cotton pillows and closed her eyes, hoping to dream about Brian.

Fin stepped out into the hallway just outside the hotel room door and dialed Josh's number. "Look," he said right when Josh picked up, "I know you don't know Olivia but, I do and we have to find Garcia because she will never be the same without Brian. Do you understand."

"Yep," Josh said quickly, "It's a good thing I have news."

"What is it?"

"I got an incoming call from a gas station near Mercy West Hospital that said Garcia came in just a few hours ago. They saw his picture on the news and they called it in. I'm heading there now."

"Did they say if he used a credit card?"

"Yeah," Josh answered, "Looks like this is a promising lead. We know he's in the area."

"Pull up the security tapes from buildings around the neighborhood and find him," Fin said, "I'll owe you."

"Got it," Josh said before hanging up and jumping into his car. He was a good cop and he was damned if he wasn't going to find Brian Cassidy and put Tyler Garcia away for good.


	8. Chapter 8

Olivia woke up to the smell of pizza assaulting her nostrils. She was glad it had finally arrived because her and the baby were starving. She flipped the covers off of her and was going to get up to make her a plate but Fin stopped her.

"I'll bring it to you," he said.

"Fin, I'm fine," she insisted, "I can make my own plate."

"I'm just trying to help, Liv," Fin explained as he slapped a slice of vegetarian pizza onto a paper plate.

"Thanks," Olivia said gladly accepting it.

The truth was, Fin was quite nervous about finding Brian. He knew how much Olivia had fallen in love with him and how their relationship was important. He knew that if they didn't find Brian alive that his partner wouldn't be okay. He hoped Josh was having some good luck with the latest lead.

At the gas station, Josh had showed the manager a photo of Tyler Garcia and was now trying to make sure that manager saw the right guy.

"That's him," Rico said pointing to the picture, "That's the guy that was here."

Josh felt a little bit of relief. This meant Tyler was still in the area. "What did he buy?"

"Believe it or not," Rico began to answer, "He bought a gallon of bleach."

Josh sighed. There was no way he was buying bleach to do his dirty laundry. "Do you know which way he went when he left?"

"That way," Rico pointed toward the left, "There was another guy in the car with him."

"There was?" Josh asked. Maybe he would get lucky and it was Brian. He hoped so because he really wanted to deliver good news to Fin. "Can you describe him?"

"I didn't get a good look," Rico answered sadly, "He looked kind of beat up."

"Thank you for your help," Josh said, picking up the receipt he was handed of Garcia's credit card. He turned around and walked out of the small gas station, jumped in his car, and pulled out of the parking lot, speeding to the left.

At the hotel, Olivia and Fin were just finishing up their lunch when her cell phone started ringing. She was expecting it to be Cragen but when she saw the caller I.D she nearly fainted. "It's Brian," she said to Fin.

Fin nodded and she picked up the phone, hiding any trace of worry in her voice. "Hello?"

"Liv." It was Brian. She could feel the tears burning her eyelids.

"I don't have much time and I'm sorry but, I need you to listen. They're looking for you. These are bad people, Liv and they want to hurt us. They won't kill me until they have you so do not leave Fin's sight."

"Bri," Olivia sobbed, "Where are you?"

"I don't know," he said sadly, "After we left the gas station I was blind folded. You can figure this out, Liv. I know you can. I love you."

"There's something I have to tell you," Olivia said and before she could get it out she heard a loud crash on the other line and the line went dead. She sat there with the phone still open in her hand and the dial tone filling the room with sound.

"Liv?"

"He said that they wanted to kill me… and that they wouldn't kill him until they had me," she choked out, "Then there was a loud crash and… the line went dead." She looked up at Fin with tears pouring out of her eyes. "I was going to tell him about the baby…"

"It's going to be okay, Liv," Fin said, "We're going to find him and neither of you are going to get hurt. Do you understand me?"

Olivia nodded and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"Josh texted me and he got the license plate number from the owner of the gas station. He ran it through the system and nothing came up but right now he's following a path he thinks Garcia might be on. He'll call me if he finds anything."

"I just don't understand," Olivia sighed, "Why would they kill Brian's mother? Why go after Brian after all these years? What do they want with me? What's in it for them?"

Fin shrugged, "You said that Mary killed her husband in the 70's. What if her husband is the connection? Maybe he owed Garcia some money but never got the chance because Mary killed him. Garcia got angry because now he wasn't going to get his money and went after Mary."

"I don't know," Olivia shook her head and ran her hand through her hair.

Josh had been driving for at least thirty minutes now and so far he had seen nothing. He was following a back road through the outer part of Seattle because he knew Garcia was smart enough to stay off the main roads. There were several abandoned buildings on this side of the city and Josh was sure now that Garcia would be at one of them. He began to slow down a bit when he saw a large silver truck in the distance. They truck was parked in a field and it didn't look like anybody was inside of it. He pulled his truck up a little further and saw that there was an empty farmhouse just a few yards back from the truck. If he was going to check this out he was going to need backup.

**This was a short chapter and hopefully the next one will up within the next hour. **

**Up next: Olivia decides she doesn't want to play it safe. She just wants Brian.**


	9. Chapter 9

Fin had been in the shower when his phone went off and Olivia looked at the screen to see who it was. It had been a text message from Josh and because she needed to know if he had any information she opened up the text.

_Here's an address. I need backup. Not safe for Olivia._

She read the text out loud and laughed at the last sentence. She looked toward the bathroom door and she could still hear the water running in the shower. There was no way she wasn't going if there was even a slight chance Brian could be there. She needed to see him. She needed to feel his touch. She hurried to put her boots on and grabbed her gun, badge, and room card. She wrote a quick note to Fin and then stormed off.

There was a car renting place right next to the hotel where Olivia was staying at and she figured it wouldn't be safe to take a cab so she rented a nice sports car and programmed the GPS to the address Josh had texted Fin. She didn't plan on going the speed limit.

While Josh was waiting for backup to arrive, he parked his car down the road a little ways so he wouldn't be caught. He walked his way back to the house and made sure to stay on the road. He hadn't seen any people yet but that didn't mean anything. He figured he should get some more information on the house before Fin got there so they weren't going in totally blind. He made his way down the rock filled driveway and made sure he wasn't seen. He climbed the fence and entered the backyard where there was finally a window left uncovered. He slowly peeked in to make sure he wouldn't be caught. There was nobody in sight but he could see into the house. He saw a pair of heavy steel boots by the front door and he saw a pistol lying on the kitchen table. This had to be where Garcia was keeping Brian.

Josh heard voices coming from inside the house so he ducked down underneath the window. He focused his listening onto the voices and tried to make out what they were saying.

"I want that bitch here and I wanted her here yesterday," said one of the rather husky men.

"Franco went to the apartment in Manhattan and there ain't nobody there. She should be here already."

"Do I always have to do everything around here by myself?"

Josh was just about to make a move back to his truck so he could call Cragen but a loud gunshot rang out, causing his ears to ring. He took a deep breath to steady his heart beat and raised his head up so he could get a peek inside. Sure enough there was a man lying on the floor with a pool of sticky crimson surrounding him. Josh now knew that they were looking for Olivia so he ran to his car and dialed Cragen's number.

"Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Captain Cragen speaking."

"Don, it's Josh."

"Everything okay?"

"I found a house out here in the middle of nowhere Seattle. Garcia is here and he wants Olivia. He was talking to some guy and they ransacked Liv's apartment. Since she was here she was safe. They know she isn't in New York anymore though."

Cragen sighed, "Just find Brian and get them both back here safely."

"Got it." Josh hung up and dialed Fin's number next.

"Yo, talk to me."

"Where the hell are you?"

Fin was taken aback. "At the hotel?"

"Didn't you get my message?"

"What me-?" Fin stopped mid-sentence when he saw the note Olivia had left for him. "Shit. Olivia's on her way there. DO NOT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO HER. I'm on my way!"

Josh had a response to that but when he heard the dial tone he knew it was no use. "This is why I hate texting."

Another ten minutes had gone by with Josh waiting in his truck for backup when Olivia finally showed up. He wasn't happy that she was putting herself in danger but he knew Brian was in that house.

"Garcia is in there," Josh informed Olivia, "He wants you, Liv. I don't know why but you're the one he's after."

Olivia quickly worked to put her bullet proof vest on as did Josh. "He wouldn't hurt someone who's pregnant." She began strutting her way to the house when Josh caught up to her.

"Olivia, I don't think you realize how dangerous this man is. How many people he has killed. He won't hesitate in shooting you."

Olivia turned around and looked him in the eye; tears brimming. "Brian is the only man I have loved in a long time. He means the world to me and it took me fourteen years to figure that out. I'm pregnant with his child and the only thing I have ever wanted is to have a family. Garcia isn't about to take that away from me now. So, I'm going in there and I'm going to walk out alive and with my husband. You up for this?"

Josh nodded, astounded at Olivia's determination. "Let's go."


	10. Chapter 10

"You don't need her," Brian said through gritted teeth as he tried to free his way from the rope that bound his hands together, "you have me."

"I don't care!" Tyler roared, "I want both of you."

"Please..." Brian was begging now. He knew it was his last choice because Tyler was growing more impatient as the seconds passed along.

"You're pathetic," Tyler spat before turning to leave the basement. He was only two stairs of the way up when he heard the sound of the front door opening and closing. He turned to face Brian with an evil smirk on his face, "looks like your precious Olivia is finally here." He pulled out his gun and reached to the brick wall to flip the lights off. Brian could hear footsteps getting closer to him and then he felt the barrel of cold metal against his temple. You scream and I pull this trigger," Tyler warned.

Brian was silently praying that Olivia wasn't the one who had just entered the house. Somehow though he knew it was. He wished she would turn around leave.

"The basement," Josh whispered to Olivia and she nodded her response.

Josh led the way down the basement stairs and was careful not to trip over the last few. The room was dark and their eyes hadn't adjusted yet. Olivia moved her hand around the wall looking for the switch and when she found it she flipped it on. Suddenly she was frozen and the world seemed to stop.

Fin had left the hotel in a hurry and jumped in a cab flashing his badge and ordering the driver to take him to the address where Olivia and Josh were at. He dialed Cragen while he was on his way.

"They're not answering," Cragen informed Fin.

Fin sighed, "They're probably in the house. Damn it, why does Olivia have to be so damned stubborn?"

"A question I have been wondering for a long time. Listen, Munch searched the address and found that it belonged to a Camille Jenkins. Camille was found dead three years ago. Her body was found in a nearby lake. There wasn't any evidence of the crime because the water washed everything away and there were no witnesses."

"You think it's on Garcia?"

Cragen sighed, "I wouldn't doubt it. Munch also found that Garcia's father, Ronald Garcia, went to the same college as Brian's father and oddly enough, Olivia's father."

"So maybe they were all involved in the same drug trafficking," Fin suggested.

"But Brian's father was killed by Mary before he ever got the chance to pay all of the loans he owed," Cragen went on to explain, "and Garcia wanted revenge on Mary."

"So you think Brian was targeted because just because he's a Cassidy?"

Cragen shrugged, right now this story was the only plausible explanation. "Yeah and now that Olivia and Brian are engaged, Olivia's pretty much a Cassidy."

"I'm going to kill the son of a bitch," Fin said calmly into the phone before hanging up. He wished the cabbie would drive faster but traffic was a bitch. "Is there any other way to this location?"

The cab driver nodded, "After we pass this light I can get on a back road and then it'll be no time at all." Fin hoped they got there in time.

Olivia still couldn't get herself to move as she took in the sight in front of her. There was Brian, tied up to a chair with bruises and cuts all over his face. He had a gun to his head and his eyes were swelling with tears. He was pale besides the purple bruises and red scrapes and he looked like he hadn't eaten in a couple days. All she could do was look in his eyes. She couldn't bare to see the rest of him so vulnerable like that.

"In just a few minutes this place will be surrounded," Josh informed Tyler as he aimed his gun at the tall and bulky man.

Tyler chuckled, "I'm not scared. All I need to accomplish is finishing these two off," he said with his voice void of emotion. "Then my job here will be finished." Tyler flicked the safety off the gun and gave an evil sadistic smile.

_"Please don't do this. Please. I'll do anything you want. Just... please."_

_ "You take another step and your precious Cassidy gets it!" The tall man had his arms wrapped tightly around Cassidy's neck and he was now choking him. He let out gagged breaths as he tried to fight back and break loose but nothing was working."Let him go," Olivia said tightening her grip on the gun, "This is between me and you."_

_ "Liv," Cassidy managed to say, "I love you.."_

_ Olivia squeezed her eyes shut to try and force the blurred vision to go away. "Just let him go."_

_ "I can't do that."_

_ "Olivia, please," Brian choked out in barely a whisper, "Leave..."_

_ Olivia shook her head and held the gun out in front of her aimed at Tyler. Tears were spilling down her face as she imagined Tyler pulling that triggering and watching blood fly everywhere. Brian could be gone in a matter of seconds..._

_ There was another loud sound coming from upstairs and Olivia nearly jumped out of her skin. When she heard Fin calling her name she breathed of relief. "Down here!" She heard his footsteps and then finally Fin was in the basement witnessing the terrible situation going on. Now it was three against one._

_ "Drop it," Fin demanded as he stepped closer to Tyler than Josh and Olivia had even dared._

_ Tyler wasn't having it though. He wasn't going down without killing at least one of them. He moved his finger to the trigger and a loud bang filled the room causing everyone's ears to ring. Olivia stood there sobbing. She dropped her gun to the floor and covered her face with her hands. Josh lowered his gun and ran to her side to make sure she was okay. Fin ignored the sticky oozing mess on the floor and went to untie Cassidy. When he was free he ran straight to Olivia and wrapped his arms so tight around her. _

_ Brian was okay. He was safe and he was hugging her. She was so relieved that she couldn't control her emotions. "Bri..."_

_ "Yeah, Liv?"_

_ "I'm pregnant."_


	11. Chapter 11

Tyler Garcia wouldn't be messing with Brian or Olivia anymore because he was announced dead earlier that day in the basement. If Olivia was being honest she would have told Brian why she had been so scared down there; why she didn't pull the trigger herself. She had had a flashback. She hadn't yet shared that tid bit of information with Brian yet and she didn't feel now was the time. She was just happy that he was happy.

"A baby," he smiled as he walked out of the hotel bathroom in his robe, "I can't believe it." He sat down on the bed next to her and tucked a wet piece of hair behind her ear.

"Bri," Olivia whispered with her eyes casted to the floor. She took a deep breath before going on, "I need to tell you something... why I couldn't... why I couldn't pull the trigger in the basement today..."

"Liv," he said, "it's okay. You don't have to explain anything."

"I do," she said. She knew that sooner rather than later they would be married and she didn't want to keep any secrets from him. "I had a flashback... today. A few years ago I went undercover in Sealview and things happened. I've dealth with it but, sometimes, not very often, I have a flashback. They're caused by stress and... I just needed to tell you."

Brian swallowed the lump in his throat and put his arm around Olivia's waist, pulling her closer to him. The smell of the lavender shampoo in her hair filled his nostrills. "I love you, Olivia," was all he needed to say and it was all she needed to hear.

Fin had headed back to Manhattan when he was sure that Brian and Olivia were safe. He figured he would let them have the room. They deserved a break for a few days. He filled Cragen in on what when down at the house and let him know that everything was okay and his detectives were safe.

It was well into the night now and the moon hung high over Seattle. Olivia and Brian lay close together in the bed and enjoy the peace and quiet. Olivia feels safe again in Brian's arms and she couldn't be more relieved that he is safe. He safe and he is hers and she is never going to let him go again.

"What are you thinking about?" Brian asked as if he had read her mind.

She shrugged and then turned her head so she could look him in the eyes. "The fact that we're getting married. The fact that I'm pregnant. When I realized that something was wrong... I felt... scared. Panicked. I thought that you would be hurt and that I would never see you again." Tears glistened in her eyes and her voice got a little higher. He squeezed her hand tighter. "I felt fear. A different kind of fear that I have never felt before. Fear that I was going to lose the one person who made me feel loved. When I said yes... to marrying you... I wasn't sure if it was love or fear. But now... I'm positive that it was love. I love you Brian, more than I could possibly say in words. I'm not used to admitting it but, I promise I'll get better at it because I do love you. I love being with you and holding your hand and kissing you whenever I feel like it."

"I love all of those things to Olivia," Brian said sincerely as he reached to wipe away her tears, "And I love doing this." He threw the blankets off of him and Olivia and climbed over top of her so he was straddling her. He bent down and planted a gentle kiss full of sparks and passion on her lips. "And I love that we made this," he whispered as he put his hand gently on Olivia's belly. "We made a child. A tiny human that we will love unconditionally."

Olivia smiled. "I wonder who it will look like," Olivia teased.

"If we're lucky," Brian began rolling back over to his side of the bed, "a little bit of both of us."

Olivia laughed. She never realized how much she could miss someone until this whole experience. It never failed that Brian could make her happy. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

He seemed to think about it for a moment but then decided, "Both."

"What?" Olivia asked surprise.

"We can't just have one kid," he went on to explain, "We have to have two. A boy first and then a girl so he can protect his little sister. Isn't that the American dream?"

Olivia chuckled. She was getting tired but there was no way she was going to tell Brian that. She missed talking with him into late hours of the night. She missed having him occupy the space next to hers. "I guess it is."

Brian noticed that Olivia was fighting to keep her eyes open and he knew she would probably do that throughout the whole pregnancy. He was going to make sure he took good care of her though. "Let's get some sleep," he said, "It's been a long couple of days." He was waiting for her response and when he looked over she was already asleep.

"Goodnight, Liv," he whispered, "I love you more than words can say." Then he laughed quietly. "You have turned me into such the cliche."


End file.
